Shower Chair

Ever since Alzheimer Granny developed dementia, it’s been very hard for anyone to get her into the shower. Either she plain refuses or she gets resistant and upset.

“What is it, Mom?” Marian asked one time, but Alzheimer Granny just stared back at her daughter, fearful and agitated.

She shook her head and Marian had no idea if that was just one more refusal or if Alzheimer Granny was basically saying, “Gosh darn it, beats me, honey.”

If I had to pick one answer, I’d go with “Gosh darn it.” No one knows for sure why people with dementia resist the shower so much, but they do and we can make useful guesses and some workable plans to keep things clean.

Meanwhile, here’s something to think about it. I’ve long observed that it seems to be the water itself that upsets the person. Having seen how sensitive people with dementia are to outer stimulus, like the wind on their faces or drops of rain, I thought that maybe it was this same sensitivity at work. Maybe also it’s that, when you have dementia and you’re standing in the shower, perhaps you have actually forgotten that water is likely to tumble down on you from above when someone turns the faucet.

Those are logical possibilities, right? Then I was chatting with a friend from San Diego who’s involved with human biology research and we were talking about the shower issue.

“You know,” I said, “In spite of all the other logical guesses we can make, I can’t help thinking that it’s something about the beating of the water on the head that actually upsets people. That just seems to be what I’m seeing.”

That’s when he told me that recent research has shown that the actual rhythm of typical shower water disrupts normal brain wave function within and seems to directly bring about the agitation we see. It’s the actual brain wave rhythm that’s disrupted. The mis-firings that follow are what create the outward signs of agitation.

So, those are the possibilities. Meanwhile, without knowing the actual answer, there’s a lot you can do that works.

1. Cut down the number of showers per week. This reduces the occasions for upset and is more in keeping with the skin requirements of elders, many of whom already have fragile dry skin that lotion doesn’t really restore, though it helps. About 3 showers a week are often sufficient.

2. Many people, even with dementia, can adequately wash their necessary parts with wash-cloths and advisory supervision. Giving a cue one at a time works well. As in:

“Here, Mom, here’s a clean warm wash-cloth. Why don’t you wipe between your legs. Now, give your behind a good wash. Here, use this clean wash-cloth for under your arms,” and so on.

That may look tedious, but it only takes wash-cloths, clean warm water and you to talk the person through the task.

Now if this person really has a BIG hygiene problem, and I think you know what I mean, then a half shower is a great solution. Because, although no one likes to talk about it, the main question: is does this person smell of urine or feces?

Note: Be sure to have vinyl or latex gloves (for you), a big garbage bag and a big laundry bag, baby wipes, clean undies (and think about Depend style undies: lots of types and choices these days and really easy to use and dispose of).

A lot of hygiene stuff is much easier if you have all the equipment you need. And be sure to make jokes. We always do. Like, “Whoa, Dad, let’s call in the HazMat team!” Laughter overcomes lots of embarrassment.

When it does come to showers, always think hand-held shower. You can easily get one added to your normal shower.

3. Alzheimer Granny began to love her shower once Marian used a hand-held shower and a comfortable shower chair. Marian tested the water gently until Alzheimer Granny liked the feel of it on her hand.

“That’s good,” said Alzheimer Granny and Marian began using the hand-held shower, starting from the feet and working upwards. Once Marian got used to letting Alzheimer Granny know exactly what she was doing and would do, everything went much better.

As in:

“Okay Mom, now I’m going to start at your feet. There now, does that feel good? I bet it does. I know you love nice warm water — but not too hot, huh, Mom?”

Blah blah blah — gentle on-going talk of this kind often really reassures the person you’re working with. Once the shower is done, wrap your person up in a nice soft towel and get them to dry as much of themselves as possible. People get really comfortable with this and they feel in charge. Which soothes them more.

Note: If you can’t or won’t do this, for whatever perfectly good reasons, hire someone to come in and do the showers. You’ll be surprised at how comfortable most people are with professional caregivers. That’s because there’s no history, no struggle, no embarrassment.

Usually, also, professional caregivers know not to hurry people. The phrase “More Haste, less speed” was invented for people with dementia. So, Marian has learned to slow down, relax and take her time with Alzheimer Granny — because she’s found out it’s quicker that way. It’s also much kinder.

Try it.

Frena Gray-Davidson, Alzheimer’s caregiver and author of five caregiving books, including her latest book “Alzheimer’s 911: Hope, Help and Healing for Caregivers”, available at http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=gray-davidson&x=15&y=16. Frena teaches care families and professionals to decode the language of dementia and achieve successful behavior interventions. Go to her website at http://www.alzguide.com/ and sign up for her free monthly online newsletter for all involved in dementia care. Email her at frenagd@gmail.com.

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